This page was created to fill some of the void of a lack of support for single people whose babies have died through miscarriage, stillbirth, early infant death, or termination for medical reasons (TFMR). The grief that follows the loss of a baby is painful and complicated for all parents. However, single parents often face significant challenges that couples are less likely to experience.
Regardless of whether you are single by choice or because of circumstance, your baby matters and your loss is no less significant than anyone else’s. At Empty Arms, we have supported many single parents from different walks of life. We affirm that your grief, sadness, and longing are real and important.
Empty Arms aims to provide comprehensive support to all individuals and families we meet, free of charge. We acknowledge that your journey to parenthood may have been more complicated than partnered people. And we know you may also receive less support from family and society than other bereaved parents. If you feel most comfortable, we can connect you with a single parent who shares a similar experience with you.
We are currently in the process of writing a guide for grieving as a single parent. It is our hope that the booklet will further help you along on this difficult journey. No two grief experiences are the same, but we hope you will feel comfortable reading what is relevant for you and skipping what isn’t.
How to use Empty Arms
Many people have reported feeling confused and alone after leaving the hospital or office and wished they had someone they could talk to for emotional support.
We have a system set up to help you get this help easily. You can choose from among these three options:
- Text 413-570-0811 and send the message "Single Support". When we receive this message, we will have one of our pregnancy loss support leaders give you a call back as soon as they possibly can.
- Call us directly: 413-570-0811. If we don't answer, leave us a message and we'll call or text you back. We are available to help talk you through your options, your anxieties, and your feelings on a peer level.
- Send us an email explaining your situation and what you'd like help with via our contact form.
Beyond telephone support, a companion may be able to come to see you for an in-person visit if this would be helpful. We encourage you to reach out if you're feeling isolated and would like support.
Resources
Bereaved single parents are often left out of conversations about pregnancy and infant loss. Most resources are created for people in committed relationships, especially those who are married. Many grief-specific books and websites briefly mention single parents while focusing on those who divorced after their baby died or financially resourced women who chose to become pregnant on their own (single moms by choice). Though these experiences matter, these resources exclude people without steady partners and the many circumstances that lead to single parenthood. While we hope you will find some of the resources on this page helpful, we acknowledge the severe gap in support for single people who have lost their baby.
Empty Arms offers 10 free monthly virtual support groups. Emy Collins facilitates our People of Color Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support Group and our Stillbirth & Infant Loss Support Group. Emy went through the pregnancy, birth and death of her second child in 2018 as a single parent with limited financial and social resources. In the wake of his death, Emy found comfort in supporting other people whose experiences with pregnancy and infant loss are often overlooked.
Postpartum Support International offers free support groups for pregnancy and infant loss, including groups specifically for Black moms, NICU parents, queer & trans parents, and family and friends.
(Note: As of July 2022 PSI does not offer their own Spanish language support groups as listed on their site.)
Return to Zero Hope offers support groups, workshops, and other resources. RTZ Hope’s support groups are not free of charge, but they do offer sliding scale to those who qualify.
Star Legacy Foundation offers resources and free support groups, including a Spanish language group facilitated by Anna Calix: Grupo de Padres en Duelo. All of Star’s Support groups are led by trained mental health professionals.
Empty Cradle offers support, remembrance, and education in Southern California, but they have confirmed their Spanish language group is open to people outside of their service area. If you would like to attend this group, please reach out to Empty Arms for a referral.