My spouse and I are the loving parents of four children— two living and two who led us to Empty Arms. We found Empty Arms in our local community in 2017 following the devastating loss of our son Graham at 22 weeks. We were heartbroken, confused, shocked, enraged, and totally powerless. We were embraced by Carol, Marisa Pizii and Lindsey Rothschild, who gently, compassionately and wholeheartedly held space, humanized our experience, joined us in our sorrow and, at the same time, symbolized hope in a way that only those who’ve lived this kind of pain can. They helped us process both the trauma of shock when we learned that our baby was severely unwell at 19 weeks, as well as the trauma of ending a desperately wanted pregnancy.
Unimaginably, we endured a similarly devastating loss one year later, this time with our daughter Lucy. Empty Arms helped us hold this unbearable reality tenderly in the company of others who were also experiencing this sort of alienating, life-altering loss and who modeled how to live, parent, and heal through it…our lifeline at the time. We remain deeply grateful to the Empty Arms community as we’ve learned (and continue to learn) how to integrate our losses into our identities and every aspect of our lives.
I humbly serve as a co-facilitator of the Termination for Medical Reasons Support Group to embrace broken hearted families in the midst of their loss and turmoil, and I continue to feel moved by the complexity, depth, resilience and healing power of this grief community. As Carol has lovingly modeled, we’re so sorry you’re here, but grateful you’ve found us. I welcome all of you, your feelings and your experiences— whatever they bring.